New Years Resolution: Judge-less

If you are alive and breathing you know on some level what it feels like to be judged.  You may have been judged based on your Physique, Intelligence, Style, Parenting, or many other areas.  You may have been judged at a job interview and gotten hired.  You may have been judged by a waitress at a restaurant and ignored.  You may have been appraised in the eyes of the opposite sex and found desirous.  We all face judgement in virtually every aspect of our lives every day, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad.

We open ourselves up to more judgement in this social media era - everyone has an opinion about EVERYTHING... whether they have any knowledge of the subject or not.  Yet we still run to Facebook and post a recent picture or accomplishment; we cross our fingers, close our eyes, do a little rain dance, and pray that people will like it/comment on it/share it to prove that we have been judged and found acceptable in the eyes of the world.

I recently found myself in the position of being Judged - and I was found wanting.  I'll admit that it cut deeper and hurt more than I could have ever imagined.  I was gutted, left watching the perceptions of myself trickle away and become lifeless under this new 'truth' from someone else's lips.  In what way was I, as a 32 year old stable adult, judged in such a way that I could be thus rocked to the core by one act of worldly Judgement???  I was judged in light of my children to be lacking parent.  I'll use the words of Matt Walsh in a recent blog post to give a glimpse of weight to this matter (parents will understand, but non parents may not):
'When you call someone a bad parent, you are digging into the very core of their being and spitting on their soul. You’re accusing them, usually based on the smallest and most irrelevant thing, of not loving their children. It’s a profound and serious thing to say about a person, yet we wantonly throw it around as a matter of rhetorical procedure.'
(The Matt Walsh Blog, Aug. 11, 2013)

I am still hurt, but I am healing.  I have been forced to face things about myself that aren't the glowing Super Mom persona that I really want the world to believe of me.

1. I give too much weight to the opinions of others in my Life.  I wish that was just an easy switch to turn on and off, but it is part of my nature.  I am a people pleaser - a middle child born to create peace.  I excelled in school because I wanted teachers to like me and for my parents to be proud of me.  I was a fairly obedient teenager because I wanted my parents to be happy with my choices - and I was terrified of possible punishments from them and God.  I happily molded and re-molded myself into what was expected of me, what allowed me to best fit in, what allowed me to skate through with a smile and nod of praise and acceptance from bosses, coworkers, friends, and family.  If I didn't care what other's thought - this wouldn't hurt so bad.
2. I JUDGE - A LOT.  When I take a serious look at my own life, I find that I am quick to judge rather than wanting to extend Grace.  On the Jung Typology test, I am a strong J - a judger, one who wants fairness in all things (whether it be the size of a slice of pizza or an equal grade) and expects black and white results in an often grey world. And while I may look out at the world through my judgy little eyes and find it lacking, here is the thing that smacked me in the face...
3. The first person I judge is MYSELF.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to the abuse of self.  I can in a five second glace at the mirror tear apart my body, my face, my hair, my intellect, my self control, my parenting, my ability to love, my deserving of being loved, my life achievements, and on and on and on.  If I am so quick to judge myself and find myself wanting, why wouldn't other people??? 
4. And the thing that hit deepest:  If I am so quick to judge myself, who do you think is the first and hardest critic of my children.... ding, ding, ding - ME.  I have had to face the fact that my children were judged because I did it first.  I am so quick to look for their flaws and train them into what I want/expect them to be, I am so fast to complain about how 'hard' they are, I am so ready to spill to whoever will listen about how exhausted I am dealing with three toddlers on a daily basis.  I have too often lost sight of how amazing my three babies are.  How big their hugs, how bright their smiles, how quick their little minds.

So why on earth am I writing this???  Well, primarily as a reminder to myself that there is only one Judge - God.  That I am simply a flawed human, but fearfully and wonderfully made.  And at the center- that I have three amazing children that I love with all my heart... and that makes me a pretty good (but never perfect) parent.

I pray that entering 2014 I will remember to extend GRACE, first to myself, then to my family, and then to the world.  I can't stop the judgement of the world - but I have some control in removing myself from the equation.

Don't worry, I'll still have lots of sewing in the new year and I hope you will all tell me how awesome I am through your commenting on my creations - but I also hope that I can just be proud that I created something in love whether anyone in the world knows about it or not.

Happy 2014 - go love on yourself and your kiddos today!

Looking Back: The Top Moments of 2013

When I look back over the last year, I am amazed!!!!  I look at my children, and they have changed so greatly.   I look at my sewing and I see how much I've grown.  And I look at myself and scratch my head wondering how in the world I got this all done ;op  I am so happy to have this outlet, this place to express, this place to share, this place to make new friends.

So here is a little glimpse back at my Top 5 posts of 2013:

#1:  I kicked off 2013 with my J.Crew Ruffle Dress Knock Off:
This Dress got me into Project Run and Play and is one of the few things I've done a full tutorial for - I really need to get better at making tutorials to share!!!!

#2: My upcycling entry for PR&P: Mo Squish Le comes in as the 2nd most loved post form 2013.

  I love this outfit so much, the details, the styling, and the fact that it is UPCYCLED.  I hope that I never lose that side of my design aesthetic!!!!

#3: It makes me SOOOOOOO happy to know that Operation Project $0, 2013 came in as a very close #3!

I am so excited that I get to share my passion that sewing doesn't have to be expensive.  I had so many great contributors add into the fun and created some of my favorite outfits for the year during the month of October.

#4: Next on the list was my contribution for Pattern Anthology 

First I was so honored to get the chance to participate in this pattern tour!  I love the clothes I made, and I loved getting to share a little glimpse at my passion for photography and how even bad shooting days can still produce something magical with a bit of planning and perseverance.

#5: Knocking Off Gap

Interesting - I'm noticing that people REALLY like tutorials... and my knock offs ;o)  Well Alrighty then, I'll make sure there is more of that in the future.  Someone tell Heidi of Elegance and Elephants to have another Knock Off Series - it always gets my inspiration going!!! *And can you believe how little baby girl was!!!

Thanks for being with me through this last year - I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store!!!!

Fly Boy: Flipping Shwin&Shwin's Number 9 Trousers into Aviator Pants

Here is my December entry to the awesome series 'Flip This Pattern' over at Frances Suzanne.  Today is VOTING DAY!!!  I would love if you voted for me, but just go check out all three of the awesome creations and vote for someone!!!

VOTE HERE

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  Now, when I originally chose which month to sign up for, I purposefully made a b-line for these pants.  Not only did I desperately want to sew up a pattern by Shwin&Shwin (which did not disappoint), but I have a child with a rather interesting physique.  You know at the begining of the movie 'The Blind Side'   When Leigh Anne Tuohy is describing the perfect Left Tackle... The ideal left tackle is big, but a lot of people are big. He's wide in the butt and massive in the thighs. He has long arms, giant hands and feet as quick as a hiccup.  This is my son B to a T... and as a two and a half year old, it is making it impossible to find pants in the stores that fit.  Add to that build, the fact that he still wears diapers and any chance of a miracle just flew out the window.  I will cherish my son, and his build - and I will make sure he has the coolest pants on earth - cause his mama can SEW!

So I have flipped the Number 9 Trousers into.... well... PANTS (woah - you didn't see that one coming did ya!) 

After hours of staring at the pattern and trying to think of the most epic flip possible, I was feeling a bit lost.  So I went instead to my fabric for inspiration.  I was recently sent some samples of the new Fly Boy line by Whindham Fabric, and as soon as I saw them, it all clicked into place.  I knew that I wanted to create some epic Aviator Pants for my adventurous soul who loves watching planes in the sky and snuggles with the airplane quilt his Nana made for him every night.

The Key to Aviator Pants, I quickly discovered was pockets, pockets, and more pockets ;o)  So I kept the original slash pockets and welt pockets, then added some fun cargo pockets and half kangaroo pockets on the back of the legs.  I almost went for more... but I did still want him to be able to move and play in these pants!  I used my fabric to make these details really POP with faux piping along the slash pocket, an unexpected pop of orange in the welt pocket linings, and a mix of the pixelated camo in blue and orange on the cargo pockets to make them super cool, but also cohesive in the whole look.

I was also inspired by the diagonal cross fly I found in some older aviator pants... So I adapted the pattern to include that as well.  And no budding Aviator is fully dressed without his cap, so I whipped up a Cozy Pilot Hat by See Kate Sew to complete the look.

The most visually striking element that I changed up was creating the Chevron Color-blocking on the legs.  I simply created the shape I wanted and cut it into the pattern - added seam allowance and then cut the top and bottom halves of the legs in contrasting fabrics.  Easy Peasy, but such a cool look!  I reinforced the seams (and gave some visual interest) by sewing two rows of top stitching along each seam.

The one detail I knew from the get go that I would include was a pull tab adjustable waist in the back of the pants.  There is still elastic in the waist band underneath the pull tab, but I love how this feature allows the waistband to look like a non elastic waist band while retaining all the function and comfort of an easy on elastic waist pant.

The base of these pants are constructed of nice warm Sweat Shirt fabric.  To complete this adventure in mixed media, I couldn't help but let some of my signature Up-cycling shine through.  All of the grey is an old hooded sweatshirt that was in my stash.  The sweatshirt was my inspiration for both the half Kangaroo pockets and the rib knit cuffs of the legs.  I knew I wanted to have pants that cinched in a little at the bottom, and this was the perfect way to incorporate the look.

I am so happy with these pants - HE is so happy with this pants.... and even if he never flies an airplane - this child will SOAR!!!

Flip This Pattern: Flipping the Number Nine Trousers into a FLY BOY

Today I am sharing my amazing big boy B in his newest pants over at Frances Suzanne.  I was so excited to flip the Number 9 Trousers and make something special for him.

While I sewed these up weeks ago, I havn't been able to share until now since they are for the competition 'Flip This Pattern'.  Voting starts tomorrow (wink wink!!!)

The Norah Pajamas: for the Mouse House Creations Norah Tour

I am so excited to be a part of the Norah Dress Pattern Tour - the first pattern tour for Mouse House Creations.  In looking at the pattern, I wanted to do something different.  I have already sewn up the Norah twice because I LOVE it (you can read my detailed review of the pattern HERE).  Baby girl already has a long sleeve woven top version and a long sleeve knit dress hanging in her closet (and believe me, they get worn as quickly as I can get them clean)... aren't they cute!

So, I decided that this time I would make the Norah to give away.  And since I sew pajamas as gifts for Christmas, I decided that there needed to be Norah Pajamas!

(*baby girl literally had these on for 5 minutes for the pictures - I didn't want anything to happen to them before I shipped them off to a special birthday girl in the family.)

This pattern is so versatile that you can do absolutely anything with it!!!  For these pajamas, I pulled some adorable flannel from my stash.  I love the look of the contrasting sleeve and collar, and I thought that would work well for the pajamas.

In lieu of lining the top, I made a facing for the back opening and then added bias strip ties for the closure.  (The flannel bias tape is a bit thick, so I think when I make more of these, I will use a satin ribbon or cotton bias tape for the ties).

I went with the Top length because I thought it would look best with pants.  From my own experience, I think all toddlers in diapers NEED to wear bottoms over their diapers - so diaper covers in summer and leggings or pants in winter.  You just don't want to risk it!!!

I am beyond THRILLED with how these turned out - I momentarily thought of keeping them for myself, but I love my little niece and I hope she will love them!

If you don't own the pattern yet - GET IT NOW!!!  You will love the variety of things that you can do with this pattern.

The Jocole Pencil Skirt - the one pattern EVERY woman needs!!!

Today I am sharing my latest selfish sew - the Jocole Pencil Skirt - you can read my full review on Pattern Revolution.

I LOVE THIS SKIRT - I feel so stylish... I actually styled it way better the second time I wore it (but I was not going to ask hubs to re-shoot ;op), and you know, I'm in mom-frump mode most of the time, so it is hard to remember what style is some days ;o)

There is an awesome discount with the review... so go check it out, or just look at this one picture of me - whatevs.

Today I am Guest Posting At Pattern Revolution with the Pocket PJ's

I'm not sure if you noticed in all the Holiday Hulabalooo that my affiliate, Blank Slate Patterns, released a brand new Pattern: The Pocket PJ's.

I absolutely love the style on these, and they give a nod to the button up look without quite so MANY buttons ;o)

Well, today I am sharing my version of them for Baby Girl as a part of the NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS series that I started at Pattern Revolution.  Go check out the cuteness and read about my favorite holiday tradition!!!!